Fanny Out East

Hi Fanny Fans,

Fanny’s got a very special travel post for you today. She’s been travelling around Thailand and Vietnam with Dick!

Wow, did Fanny need a holiday or what?! By the time Christmas came around, Fanny felt like a mess! She’d even come down with some sort of rash – probably stress related.

Dick wasn’t too healthy either, he’d just come home and flop on the bed, unable to get up or anything.

So we were delighted to get a long-haul flight to the place that would start our adventure…

Bangkok, Thailand

The first thing we did was take a tuktuk around the city. Wow, what a way to travel. Fanny got on the little motorised contraption and enjoyed the ride!

I couldn’t help but be amused by this photo though, do you think the driver knew what it looked like? Some people can be so blissfully unaware how innocent things can look very different!
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Fanny also had one of those famous Thai massages! Wow, the masseur certainly went for it, he had me in every position imaginable and really pounded on Fanny until she thought she would burst! It was just the ticket, and Fanny felt nice and loosened up.

Amazingly, a local seemed to know who I was! I think he must read my blog. Because I was walking along the street when someone shouted:

“Fanny! Ping Pong!”

This kind person, who I didn’t recognise at all, was inviting me to play a spot of table tennis with him and gesturing into a nearby bar. It must have been like Bounce in Shoreditch.

Dick was quite keen to go in, but I reminded him we needed to get to the airport.

Because, yes, our time here was done. Overall I was very pleased Fanny finally did Bangkok after all those years of dreaming of it!

Hanoi, Vietnam.

Wow! What a city! The noise and the hustle and bustle hit you as soon as you arrive. Fanny was gushing at the very sight of it and Dick certainly stood up and took notice!

First things first, we had to withdraw plenty of the local currency. Suddenly Fanny had a lot of Vietnamese Dong on her hands and she couldn’t wait to put them to good use!

Their amazing street markets were a highlight, especially at night. Dick and I had to get rather good at haggling with the local traders, as everyone wanted to rip Fanny off, but Fanny kept her Dong close to her chest.

The street food was absolutely fantastic. You’d just go to the side of the road and there’d be a willing seller to dish out a wonderful tasting snack.

I particularly enjoyed their pate baguettes they sold – Banh Mi. Fanny will certainly be going into Vietnamese restaurants in London and demanding “Banh Mi, now!” in future.

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Lastly, look at this picture Dick took in the men’s toilets in Hanoi! That’s what they think women think about there – actually quite misogynistic and very dismissive. I was outraged and said to my dear boyfriend that for me it would have only one thought bubble and it would just say “Dick.” I’m always thinking of him.

Anyway, perhaps I’d been a little bit hard with Dick (and he certainly was firm in reply) but maybe that’s because we needed to do less travelling and more relaxing. So we set off for…

Phu Quoc, Vietnam
palm

Next we went for a relaxing stay at a beach resort on the island of Phu Quoc.

After plenty of walking around in Hanoi, I was glad to enjoy a palm moving rhythmically over Fanny in the breeze as I relaxed and soaked in the rays.

Dick was floppy no more, he was taking a dip every half an hour, he has wonderful technique with the breaststroke I must say. If ever either of us got too dry in the sun we’d soon get nice and wet again!

We obviously applied a lot of cream too – for any young girls reading, Fanny always rubs plenty of cream into herself.

The one downside about the beach was the mosquitoes – it seems all of those little guys in Vietnam wanted to have  a nibble on Fanny!

It was time for Fanny to be on the move again, this time to…

Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam

Next we stopped off at Ho Chi Minh city. I don’t know much about the former leader of Vietnam, but Ho seemed someone I could get into bed with, as his city is wonderful!

Again, the food was fantastic here and Fanny was hungrily stuffing as much into her as possible.

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Including this: Fanny Ice Cream!

Well Fanny was quite tickled by that, but Dick was loving the product. He couldn’t to wait to try out Fanny’s wares and was enthusiastically licking it all up.

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We also stopped in here for coffee and I can thoroughly recommend it. In fact, if anyone asks Fanny or Dick for something to rejuvenate them while in the area, we will definitely say “Phuc Long.”

Before we knew it, our time was over and we returned to…

London, England.

Yes, sadly Dick and I are back home again. Fanny is just another rat in the race again and Dick is back to the daily grind.

Thanks for reading everyone, more news soon!

Love from Fanny xx

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