Fanny Out East

Hi Fanny Fans,

Fanny’s got a very special travel post for you today. She’s been travelling around Thailand and Vietnam with Dick!

Wow, did Fanny need a holiday or what?! By the time Christmas came around, Fanny felt like a mess! She’d even come down with some sort of rash – probably stress related.

Dick wasn’t too healthy either, he’d just come home and flop on the bed, unable to get up or anything.

So we were delighted to get a long-haul flight to the place that would start our adventure…

Bangkok, Thailand

The first thing we did was take a tuktuk around the city. Wow, what a way to travel. Fanny got on the little motorised contraption and enjoyed the ride!

I couldn’t help but be amused by this photo though, do you think the driver knew what it looked like? Some people can be so blissfully unaware how innocent things can look very different!

Fanny also had one of those famous Thai massages! Wow, the masseur certainly went for it, he had me in every position imaginable and really pounded on Fanny until she thought she would burst! It was just the ticket, and Fanny felt nice and loosened up.

Amazingly, a local seemed to know who I was! I think he must read my blog. Because I was walking along the street when someone shouted:

“Fanny! Ping Pong!”

This kind person, who I didn’t recognise at all, was inviting me to play a spot of table tennis with him and gesturing into a nearby bar. It must have been like Bounce in Shoreditch.

Dick was quite keen to go in, but I reminded him we needed to get to the airport.

Because, yes, our time here was done. Overall I was very pleased Fanny finally did Bangkok after all those years of dreaming of it!

Hanoi, Vietnam.

Wow! What a city! The noise and the hustle and bustle hit you as soon as you arrive. Fanny was gushing at the very sight of it and Dick certainly stood up and took notice!

First things first, we had to withdraw plenty of the local currency. Suddenly Fanny had a lot of Vietnamese Dong on her hands and she couldn’t wait to put them to good use!

Their amazing street markets were a highlight, especially at night. Dick and I had to get rather good at haggling with the local traders, as everyone wanted to rip Fanny off, but Fanny kept her Dong close to her chest.

The street food was absolutely fantastic. You’d just go to the side of the road and there’d be a willing seller to dish out a wonderful tasting snack.

I particularly enjoyed their pate baguettes they sold – Banh Mi. Fanny will certainly be going into Vietnamese restaurants in London and demanding “Banh Mi, now!” in future.

Lastly, look at this picture Dick took in the men’s toilets in Hanoi! That’s what they think women think about there – actually quite misogynistic and very dismissive. I was outraged and said to my dear boyfriend that for me it would have only one thought bubble and it would just say “Dick.” I’m always thinking of him.

Anyway, perhaps I’d been a little bit hard with Dick (and he certainly was firm in reply) but maybe that’s because we needed to do less travelling and more relaxing. So we set off for…

Phu Quoc, Vietnam

Next we went for a relaxing stay at a beach resort on the island of Phu Quoc.

After plenty of walking around in Hanoi, I was glad to enjoy a palm moving rhythmically over Fanny in the breeze as I relaxed and soaked in the rays.

Dick was floppy no more, he was taking a dip every half an hour, he has wonderful technique with the breaststroke I must say. If ever either of us got too dry in the sun we’d soon get nice and wet again!

We obviously applied a lot of cream too – for any young girls reading, Fanny always rubs plenty of cream into herself.

The one downside about the beach was the mosquitoes – it seems all of those little guys in Vietnam wanted to have  a nibble on Fanny!

It was time for Fanny to be on the move again, this time to…

Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam

Next we stopped off at Ho Chi Minh city. I don’t know much about the former leader of Vietnam, but Ho seemed someone I could get into bed with, as his city is wonderful!

Again, the food was fantastic here and Fanny was hungrily stuffing as much into her as possible.


Including this: Fanny Ice Cream!

Well Fanny was quite tickled by that, but Dick was loving the product. He couldn’t to wait to try out Fanny’s wares and was enthusiastically licking it all up.


We also stopped in here for coffee and I can thoroughly recommend it. In fact, if anyone asks Fanny or Dick for something to rejuvenate them while in the area, we will definitely say “Phuc Long.”

Before we knew it, our time was over and we returned to…

London, England.

Yes, sadly Dick and I are back home again. Fanny is just another rat in the race again and Dick is back to the daily grind.

Thanks for reading everyone, more news soon!

Love from Fanny xx

Fanny’s 2016 Round-Up

Hi Fanny Fans!

Yes, I know, it’s been a long time ago since Fanny’s last post.

So let me just give you the low-down about what’s been happening in 2016 – what a year!

January to March

So me and Dick started dating in February. From the very first moment we met in that chicken shop, we just seemed to fit. We’ve been inseparable since.

At first, I have to say I didn’t want to tell any of my friends (apart from you Fanny fans!) about Dick. I suppose I didn’t want to jinx things. But, sure enough, Fanny’s lips weren’t sealed for long and soon everyone was sharing in my love!

The amazing thing is how many friends have said “Dick and Fanny – you just make such a brilliant pairing,” that’s touched Fanny so much.

April to June

My highlight of Spring and early Summer was definitely our trip to the New Forest! Our first trip away together as a couple, Dick couldn’t wait to take me in the wild bushy nether regions and I must say it didn’t disappoint!


Dick and I couldn’t come to the New Forest without enjoying a banger or too!

We hired bikes and cycled around the pretty little villages. It’s actually a little outside the main area, but Ringwood is a particular favourite.

Dick was riding hard and fast, so I was exhausted and saddle sore by the end of the trip.

There was also the small matter of the EU referendum! I didn’t vote but I was actually quite pleased we are getting Brexit.

A word of advice for Theresa May though – go for a hard one! A soft one will only lead to disappointment.

July to September

I’ll remember my summer for another trip to Denmark! You may remember I went a few years ago, well Fanny came again!

She learned all about the Vikings – with their big shiny helmets and skilled swordsmanship.

Fanny was delighted when Dick bought her a present though – see left!

It’s so fun to drink from this big horn and I think Dick had a new found respect for me when I drank it all down in one go.

October to December

Well the year’s not over just yet, but I can hardly believe it’s gone so fast. I remember chuckling when Dick said “Winter is coming” in that voice he does (he’s mad!) but sure enough it’s come all over us before we know it!

One amazing thing was Trump winning the election in America! He likes the attention doesn’t he? He certainly grabbed Fanny’s more than once and I think he’ll continue to do that whenever he likes!

A highlight, which I suppIMG_20161120_054031.jpgose is a little silly, was spotting this little guy on the London underground! I’m not sure what it is, but seeing that furry little thing scuttling around in a dark hole made me feel all warm inside!

Hopefully the rest of the year will be as fun as the year I’ve had so far! I’m hoping to have exciting news about a blogger collaboration for you very soon!

Hope your 2016 has been Fannytastic too.

Love from Fanny xx

A Fanny Valentine

Hello Fanny lovers! Long time no see!

Well, I couldn’t miss out on telling you about Fanny’s exciting Valentine’s Day.

For Fanny, it’s the best day of the year – she can be rather in demand on Tinder I’m not too embarrassed to say!

But my date this time(!) was a strapping young man called Richard. He told me to meet him at Chick ‘N’ Sours for brunch. It seems he loves eating out, which Fanny likes to hear!


I couldn’t believe my luck, as Fanny loves a bit of meat on bone – looks like Dick knows what Fanny wants!

I was not disappointed. They served us promptly, asking what we’d like to drink. As it’s called Chick ‘N’ Sours, I went for a nice stiff cocktail.

Delicious! After a few of those, Fanny could feel herself loosening up!

Now for the main event, the chicken! They do delicious “Disco Wings,” so I opted for them. OMG, they were incredible.

It was a bit embarrassing in front of Dick, but I was tucking in so fast, my sticky wings were dripping everywhere. With the juices flying all over the place and my fingers covered in the stuff, Fanny must have looked quite a mess!

Then again, Dick had bone marrow sauce halfway up his chest so he must have got pretty excited too!

The attention to detail at the restaurant was second to none, right down to the hen on the ladies toilets – although I was rather more tickled by the cock on the door of the men’s!

Overall, I’d say this was an unbeatable experience for Fanny – the best Valentine’s Day I’ve had in some time. I don’t want to jinx it but I think Dick and I just seem to… fit!

Love from Fanny x

Inside Fanny & Swedish Meat

Fanny’s been out and about, to make her inside life better!

Yes, that’s right, I went to IKEA this week and I had the time of my life. Fanny’s a big fan of “doing it herself,” so she loves stores like this, where you get so much good quality Scandinavian wood and tools to put it together.

Fanny wanted a nice new rug, so went on the hunt in their store in Tottenham. Oh, what a selection! There were nice thick, furry rugs, interesting woven rugs and low-pile rugs.

Personally Fanny’s always been a fan of a small thin, rug. I had a great one from Brazil I bought many years ago, but I decided I wanted to change from the Brazilian.

In the end I opted for a welcome mat because I just wanted a nice rug that says “welcome to Chez Fanny.”

After an exhausting day looking at rugs (and trying out beds!) I was suddenly very hungry.

I’ve seen Transun are doing a fantastic guide to Scandinavian restaurants with bloggers, so I decided to give IKEA restaurant a go. I have to say, their meatballs are legendary.

Fanny loves a nice meaty meal, and you don’t get balls better than the Swedes! I’m not sure what’s in the sauce but it’s absolutely delicious.

The prices are so cheap:

£3.80 (for 10)

£4.80 (for 15)

(for 20)

Naturally I paid the top amount so I could get the most balls for my money. Well worth going to if you’re on the hunt for meat at minimum expense.

All in all, Fanny had a wonderful time shopping and can’t wait to go again.

Love from Fanny xx

Fanny Gets Out: Denmark

Firstly, sorry for all of you who haven’t seen Fanny for a while. She’s certainly deserved a nice break away from things after being worked so hard in 2014 so far.

I stayed in the beautiful capital city of Copenhagen, in the country of Denmark. For those of you who don’t know much about Denmark, it’s where the Vikings came from. We even had a King or two who came from that country. But Fanny isn’t here to talk about Cnut!

The first thing I noticed about the place was that the sea was everywhere! And what does this mean? Great seafood! I don’t mind telling you Fanny had more than a taste of fish while she was there! And if it wasn’t fish, then Fanny got crabs. ImageAn old-fashioned, wholesome family nation, Danes love cruising and motor-boating.

While we were on a boat tour of the waterfront, we saw where they would be hosting this year’s Eurovision Song Contest. I watched this recently, and was amazed to see such a hairy woman win, especially after the bullying I received from Laura and Ashley at school.

Another great experience was visiting Kronberg Slot (Castle). This was the setting for the play Hamlet, by William Shakespeare, which is still proving really popular years after its first release – I’d make sure you go and see it soon because it must be nearing the end of its run now?? It doesn’t cost too much to enter the Slot, so it gets Fanny’s recommendation.

ImageKronberg’s Slot is open to members of the public

Oh and I must show you this photo:

Apparently it means cream!

Apparently it means cream!

How funny is that?! They must be wandering around completely unaware that the words they write sound unintentionally rude! Well, if Fanny needs cream next time she’s in Denmark I guess she knows to ask for Karolines Kokken.

So that’s my break, I hope you’ve not been missing Fanny too much. I’ll be back with some fab product reviews (remember PRs, do send me ANYTHING you think I’d like because I am not fussy seriously) soon.

Love from Fanny xx

Fanny Gets Out: Review of 12 Years A Slave

Oh hi there guys, I’ve been to the cinema! To see a film!

It was at Vue West End and tickets were £14.50, which is really good value because you get to sit in a large room with other people, have a chat and watch a film.

There’s great food too, I had a jumbo hotdog (nice and filling), large popcorn, nachos and a large drink. All in all an evening at the cinema must have cost less than £40!

On to the film; I saw 12 Years A Slave, a comedy caper starring Michael Fassbender (hunk), Benedict Cumberbatch (dreamboat) and some other actors I hadn’t heard of.

So basically, the main guy (long name, can’t remember) gets so drunk (we’ve all been there!) that he wakes up, and here’s the twist… he’s been made a slave!!!

It’s a classic case of confused identity, as his captors don’t know he’s a free man! So, how does he escape the situation? Well, you’ll have to watch the film to find out but he doesn’t! He’s a slave for 12 years.

Watch out for some seriously naughty whipping scenes (naked!) and a cheeky cameo from Brad Pitt (still hot) who is pretending to be Canadian. I was so shocked at this I spilled my big Coke all over myself; Fanny got wet!

I had a right laugh watching this film and I thought people around me were pretty humourless to be honest. There was this big set-piece where the main guy had to stop himself being hanged and, apart from my laughter, you could hear a pin drop.

Afterwards I realised they must have been all doing one of those silent laughs you do when something is really funny, because I could see quite a few people had been CRYING.

I’ll probably get it on DVD when it comes out so I can laugh all over again. Go and see it!!!

Love from Fanny xx